I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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