32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
she peed on how many people?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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