She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
