Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The air was thick with penises
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
