plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
