i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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