@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
