i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
