If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Farmville is her only friend.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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