you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
