Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(912): View more from Georgia

It's not kidnapping if it's romantic

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.

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(713): View more from Texas

You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".

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(513): View more from Ohio

im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.

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(386): View more from Florida

Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.

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(986): View more from

He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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(845): View more from New York

I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...

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