Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize