toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
