just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
