I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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