I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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