I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
