I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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