Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
