Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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