i would punch a child for taco bell
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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