He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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