this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
