some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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