The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
