dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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