So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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