I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
