tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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