it wasn't lemon gatorade
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Say something about gay babies.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
