Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
How external is "for external use only"?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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