my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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