Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
