capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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