so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
