Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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