he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
