i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
