Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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