We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i used baking grease as lip gloss
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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