my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You are a genius and a whore.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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