Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
