So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize