this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
