Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
