the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
