My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just found a bag of teeth...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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