i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
