Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
