Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
