Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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