some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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