Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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