Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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