I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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