The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
nutella sex= disaster
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize
