The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
