I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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