How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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