didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize