I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
