I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
