so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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