those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
