honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
