What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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