does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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